Making a Decision

On This Page:

What's Important to You Exploring More Partners, Family & Important Relationships The People In My Life

Knowing What is Important to You

One of the most important things a decision-making tool can do is to help clear up what is important to you about a decision, which can change the more you think and learn about pregnancy.

Down below is a list of things you might think about when making a decision about pregnancy. Think about how these apply to you and your life. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers; over time, you may change how important these are to you.

Making a Decision

How important is:

Not at all
A little bit
Somewhat
Quite a bit
Very much
1. Maintaining my current level of independence during pregnancy
2. Caring for an infant
3. The possible effect of my SCI on my child’s upbringing
4. Finances and insurance
5. My long-term health and function after pregnancy

Exploring More

If you want to explore more about what is important to you when deciding about a pregnancy, answer the additional questions below.

For each question, rate each item using the following scale to show how important it is to you when considering a decision about pregnancy.

How important is:

Not at all
A little bit
Somewhat
Quite a bit
Very much
1. Having the experience of being pregnant?
2. Having a genetic link to another person or passing on your genes to a future generation?
3. Maintaining your usual level of independence during pregnancy?
4. The possibility of a long-term effect of pregnancy on your health and function?
5. Your religious or spiritual beliefs about family and motherhood?
6. Your cultural beliefs about family and motherhood?
7. The happiness of your partner?
8. The desire of your partner to have a genetic link to another person?

Partners, Family & Important Relationships

Your relationships with partners, family, and friends can play an important role in your decision about a pregnancy. While some conversations may be easy, others can be challenging. Some people may worry that being pregnant when you have an SCI is just too risky.

Pregnancy can be a risk for any woman and every woman’s situation is different. Talking things through, especially with partners and health care providers, can be really important during your decision making process. What you talk about with others is up to you, but sometimes you may not be sure what you want to do or who you want to talk to. You may even hesitate to bring it up with people you trust and who have your best interests at heart.

Unfortunately, many women with SCI have experienced negative reactions from health care providers and others when they have brought up pregnancy. You may have experienced this yourself, which might make you hesitant to talk about it again.

To get an idea of how generally comfortable you are right now to talk about your decision, rate yourself on this scale:

Thinking about your answer

If you’re uncomfortable:
  • What is making you feel that way?
  • Are there certain people that you are especially uncomfortable talking to?
If you’re comfortable:
  • What helps make you comfortable?
If you’re in the middle:
  • Are there things you can do to get more comfortable?

Keep these thoughts and questions in mind as you continue to go through the tool!

Email me a copy of this worksheet

The People in My Life

While the decision whether to get pregnant or not is ultimately up to you, the support and opinions of others in your life may be important. One exercise that may be helpful to you is to define your circle of support.

Click on the link down below to map out your “Relationship circles” or your “circle of support.” This is just one way to map out people in your life and their closeness to you. There are no rules to where anyone belongs, and who is in these circles may change throughout your life.

Worksheet: The People in My Life

Who Do I Need and Want to Talk To

You are likely to have people you want to talk to for their support or advice. There will also be others you will likely need to talk to because they are involved in your life in ways that may affect your decision. To help you think through the people you want and need to talk to, use this worksheet to list these people in your life.

Worksheet: Who Do I Need and Want to Talk To

Getting Ready to Talk

Talking to others about thoughts and feelings around pregnancy may not be easy for every woman. Others may make assumptions based on your SCI, including health care providers, which can make talking difficult.

Use the worksheet below to help you, your partner, and others learn more about each other’s views about a pregnancy decision.

Worksheet: Getting Ready to Talk

Understanding Each Other

If you have a partner or close family members who will be involved in this decision, talking openly with them is especially important.

Sometimes, it can be hard to talk about how we really feel or think with people who are close to us because their feelings matter to us.

Sometimes we need help having important conversations. To help you, your partner, and others learn more about each other’s point of view about a pregnancy decision, download this worksheet. Each of you will have your own copy to fill out. After you’re done, share what you each wrote down for each section. You can download the worksheet as many times as you want to share with others.

Worksheet: A Pregnancy Decision Guide for Two

Reaching a Decision

Making a decision about pregnancy can be a long process for women with SCI because there can be a lot to think about. Wherever you are in the process is okay. Keep in mind that half of all pregnancies are unplanned, so contraception may be something to consider as you think about this decision. There are also other ways to become a parent if pregnancy is not right for you. Adoption or surrogacy can be right for some women.

If you have spent a lot of time considering whether pregnancy is right for you, you might feel relieved when you make a decision, whatever it may be. Sometimes making a decision is not a relief, especially if you decide that a pregnancy is not right for you when you hoped it could be. Whatever your feelings, we encourage you to share them with people you trust, and know that you are not alone.

If you haven’t reached a decision yet, we encourage you to keep working through this decision tool, taking breaks when you need to. If you decide to move forward with a pregnancy, think about getting pre-conception counseling and continue to use this tool to help navigate planning